Things to note as Mike reaches base via E9

-"These [Taxi Mike's team] stats are 90% verified, there are just a couple of things missing or otherwise wrong. Not sure if Sam batted in the seventh or if he was already gone - same with Brian Sabella. He was credited with an at-bat in the seventh but I think he was gone by then. Also, Jason had a HR circled in the 3rd inning but I thought it was a double (he ended up being stranded, as Sergio didn't allow a run in the 3rd).

Generally speaking, these stats are right." -Brian Mangan

-"They're probably wrong." -Wilson

-In the much anticipated bout, a bunch of guys in their mid-to-late 20s routed a bunch of teenagers, a stoner and a guy in his late 40s by a score of 16-4. Fuck those kids.

-As Christos took the lead in organizing the game, he, unfortunately, gets credit for captaining yet another squad to glorious victory. Fuck that guy.

-The game was actually close in the early innings; Taxi Mike's Baseball Babies led 1-0 until the bottom of the 2nd. The next sixteen runs would be scored by Chris' Sodomizers.

-The game was called after seven innings on account of several people being a bunch of bitches and not wanting to play a full nine.

-Seven members of Christos Plakas' Child Sodomizers scored at least 2 runs.

-Six members of Christos Plakas is a Child Sodomizer recorded 2 hits.

-The Christos Plakas is Unquestionably a Child Sodomizer's 4/5 hitters combined to go 3-for-5 with a double, 3 walks, 7 rbi and ZERO runs scored.

-Wilson sat out a defensive inning for the first time since ESC VI.

-There were no double plays turned in this game.

-Omar, a 27 year old law student and former high school football player, taunted Hugo--a teenager with the body composition of a salamander--after striking him out...with a 14 run lead.

-For the first time in ages, Mike did not go 1-for-5. He went 1-for-4.

-This was Sergio's first ever career start. It was somehow Alejandro's lifelong dream.

-All these stats will count regardless of what Brian says in that annoying way of his. You know that way, right? When he talks? Good.

-There were several doppelgangers in this game: Arthur looked like former Bronx Science stalwart, Leo; Anthony looked like some kid named Adam Stickler from Stuy or any stoner from any movie ever; Tony looked like Russell from the movie 'Up and'; Derek and Sam sounded like Argenis.

-Reese made an appearance after having helped his sister move earlier in the morning. He was paid with a gift certificate for salsa lessons from Alejandro.

-This game marked the league debut of Ezequiel (Ricky's brother-in-law) and, uhh, everyone on Taxi Mike's Baseball Babies.

-I hope our various team names come up in Google searches.

-A bunch of league regulars stayed to hit around for about an hour before heading to Wendy's. This was the first post-baseball sporting activity since post-baseball basketball last occurred in 2005. We're gettin' too old for this shit.

-Seriously, who left their cleats at the field last week? Wilson has them.