Things to note while asteroids kill the dinosaurs all over again:
-The five-week reign of...FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE GO SEE THE DARK KNIGHT RISES!
-The five-week reign of the mostly Benevolent Bronto is over! The Asteroids, captained by Wilson, defeated The Brontos by a score of 10-3. Rock not only beats scissors, it beats dinos too.
-French/Sportsvite Pete, without any prior notice/communication, somehow managed to show up on-time and to the field we were playing on. He went 4-for-5 with 6 runs batted in and was the BANE of Mike’s day. Well, the first of three, anyway.
-Game was played on no-mound Cunningham because Peck was taken/flooded. Incidentally, Flooded is a new Liam Neeson movie slated for a Feb. 2013 release.
-After being called out on strikes in the 4th, Jaysian raised his metal bat over his head and, for a second, looked like he was going to snap it over his knee, Bo Jackson/Bane/Bryce Harper-style. Instead, he violently slammed it to the ground.
-Courtesy of Cliff: Joe called Jaysian out on a pitch that was probably in the opposite batters’ box.
-Piling on: In the 9th, Jaysian lined a pitch into right field. It was lackadaisically fielded by Alvin—Jaysian’s teammate—and thrown to first base, getting Jay out by at least two steps.
-No Christos and no Brian = not a single argument and relatively quiet/drama free day at the park.
-Courtesy of Mark: Mark did the same thing to Matero last week. “Yallies gotta run faster.” Haters gon’ hate and trolls gon’ troll.
- To lead off the 5th, Gabe hit a ball that deflected off the pitcher’s glove that was fielded and thrown to first by the 2nd baseman Rangel, beating Gabe by a step. Cheers and shouts of “good play” echoed throughout Cunningham. Gabe, giving absolutely zero fucks, said “fuck that noise and reality” and Benny Rule’d his way on to first base.
-Denise adopted a Yorkshire Terrier (courtesy of Gabe: “where’s the rest of your dog?”) and Mike was visibly and verbally angry for the entire day (“It’s not even a fucking dog, it’s a rat with a not-as-long tail CONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”)
-Courtesy of Mark: OMG Mike will now be able to roll around like a puppy... WITH A REAL PUPPY
-Courtesy of Mike: “Would a seven-floor drop kill a dog that size?” To which Wilson responded, “Woah…you live on a 7th floor?! Damn.”
-Mike hated that French Pete showed up out of nowhere and managed to go 4-for-5 with six runs driven in. “That fuckin’…MOTHERFUCKER…fuck, I can’t even call him that because he’s such a nice guy. Fuck!”
-To show his hatred for his new roommate, Mike wanted to name the dog French Pete before ultimately deciding on naming the 4 year-old ratdog ‘Pierre’.
LOLThomas notes:
-Since donning the cowl...er, the catchers’ gear, Thomas is undefeated. For like, six weeks now.
-Courtesy of Mike: Thomas is the best catcher ever.
-Jill almost killed Thomas again. After she struck out in the 7th (Scumbag Sergio), Thomas threw down to 3rd for an around-the-horn narrowly missing Jill’s head in the process.
-Courtesy of Mike: BEST!
-Courtesy of Cliff: Every time we play Jill makes some reference to him being an angry dwarf. To his face.
-Courtesy of Mike: CATCHER!
-At one point, Thomas umped while standing on Joe’s cooler. No one noticed until later because, ya know, height and all.
-In the 8th, Thomas shared with us that a porn star attended his high school. Someone asked if she was in his class/grade. He responded, "I went to Catholic school…[pause]…fuckin’ Catholic sluts."
-Courtesy of Mike: EVER!
-Asteroids did not allow any extra-base hits; all of Brontos’ right (8) hits were singles.
-In the 6th, Rangel popped up a ball off the 1st base line. Matero couldn’t quite get to it in time and, for his troubles, ran into the fence and hyper-extended his knee. Joe was down on the ground for a while but he looked adorable like a little puppy so it was ok.
-Joke courtesy of Gabe: "When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, Joe loses."
-At another point in the game, Matero broke his sunglasses, rendering him potent-less/impotent for the rest of the day. He went a a very un-Matero like 1-for-4 and no runs batted in.
-Courtesy of Mark: In the 1st inning, Joe misplayed a pop-up in fair territory that bounced off his glove and then his head.
-Though his pitching line won’t show it, Mike had a SICK curveball going in his four (4) innings of work. He froze Wilson and Cliff in the 1st and struck out Wilson again on a gorgeous curve in the 2nd.
-Joke courtesy of Mark: Mike made Cliff look foolish on one particular curveball that shattered Cliff’s legs like Mr. Glass in Unbreakable.
-Wilson and his brother Rangel combined to be pretty terrible on offense (1-for-10 with 6 strikeouts) but pretty awesome on defense (several putouts and involved in two double plays).
-Courtesy of Mark: Team Bronto had 100% of the Asian contingent, and 100% of the Jewish contingent. We may have lost, but we were good at math (joke stolen from someone else.)
-Courtesy of Sergio: The bases were, for once, actually 90 feet apart. OMG so far.
-After scoring his first run, Sergio returned to the dugout sounding like the wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle.
-Courtesy of Mark: During an at bat where Mark was pitching, someone on Team Asteroids' bench yelled "pitcher's got a big butt," leading Mark to question whether opposing pitchers/captains had ever had such glorious glutes, and whose was the cushioniest. After the game, Mark measured his and
Wilson's derrieres and found that Wilson's 47" rump was narrowly larger than Mark's 46 1/2" bronto-tush. Dat ass.
-This measurement, I shit you not, came up in one of Wilson’s conversations later that night…as a point of pride.
-Courtesy of Mark: Upon learning he would be playing left field, Gabe said "that's a mistake." Gabe then went on to make several nice catches, and a
nice play getting to French Pete's double in the 3rd inning.
-Still courtesy of Mark: Wendy's was hilarious. My favorite part was Slider's reaction to ghost-riding.
-Everyone loves Slider’s laugh and it was pretty contagious.
-Brontos V: The Mysterious Sky Rock is a Land Before Time 5 reference that came too me far too easily.
Top 1
Pitching: Sergio Herrera.
Alvin Law strikes out.
Mark Rubin walks.
Joe Materrorist singles, Mark Rubin to second.
Mike Fusilli flies out (F-8).
HJ Kwon strikes out.
Bottom 1
Pitching: Mike Fusilli.
Sergio Herrera doubles.
Sergio Herrera to third on a pickoff attempt (E1).
- Sergio Herrera scores on the throw.
Corey strikes out.
Wilson De La Cruz strikes out.
Cliff Krimmel strikes out.
Top 2
Pitching: Sergio Herrera.
Adam Slider singles.
Gabe Edelman grounds into a fielder's choice, Adam Slider out at second (5-4).
Andrew Mac strikes out.
Jill Marie grounds out (2-3).
Bottom 2
Pitching: Mike Fusilli.
French Pete doubles.
Chris Coleman reaches first on an error (E3), French Pete to third.
John B. flies out (F-7).
Rangel Nuñez strikes out.
Thomas Meade grounds out (6-3).
Top 3
Pitching: Sergio Herrera.
Alvin Law grounds out (6-3).
Mark Rubin flies out (F-8).
Joe Materrorist pops out (P-5).
Bottom 3
Pitching: Mike Fusilli.
Sergio Herrera hit by pitch.
Corey singles, Sergio Herrera to second.
Wilson De La Cruz strikes out.
Cliff Krimmel reaches first on an error (E6), Corey to second, Sergio Herrera to third.
French Pete singles, Cliff Krimmel to second, Corey scores, Sergio Herrera scores.
- Cliff Krimmel to third (E9).
Chris Coleman singles, French Pete to second, Cliff Krimmel scores (unearned).
John B. flies out (F-7).
Rangel Nuñez strikes out.
Top 4
Pitching: Sergio Herrera.
Mike Fusilli pops out (P-6).
HJ Kwon strikes out.
Adam Slider grounds out (3U).
Bottom 4
Pitching: Mike Fusilli.
Thomas Meade walks.
Sergio Herrera walks, Thomas Meade to second.
Corey grounds into a fielder's choice, Sergio Herrera to second, Thomas Meade out at third (1-5).
Wilson De La Cruz singles, Corey to second, Sergio Herrera scores.
- Wilson De La Cruz to second, Corey to third on the throw.
Cliff Krimmel strikes out.
French Pete doubles, Wilson De La Cruz scores, Corey scores.
Chris Coleman singles, French Pete to third.
John B. pops out (P-5).
Top 5
Pitching: Sergio Herrera.
Gabe Edelman singles.
Andrew Mac flies out (F-7).
- Gabe Edelman to second (E7).
Jill Marie walks.
Alvin Law walks, Jill Marie to second, Gabe Edelman to third.
Mark Rubin hits a sacrifice fly (F-7), Jill Marie picked off at second (7-5-4), Gabe Edelman scores.
Bottom 5
Pitching: Mark Rubin relieves Mike Fusilli.
Rangel Nuñez grounds out (6-3).
Thomas Meade walks.
Sergio Herrera flies out (F-7).
Corey stays alive after a dropped pop up in foul territory (E3).
Corey grounds out (1-3).
Top 6
Pitching: Sergio Herrera.
Joe Materrorist reaches first on an error (E6).
Mike Fusilli singles, Joe Materrorist to second.
HJ Kwon strikes out.
Adam Slider singles, Mike Fusilli to second, Joe Materrorist to third.
Gabe Edelman singles, Adam Slider to second, Mike Fusilli scores, Joe Materrorist scores (unearned).
Andrew Mac lines out (L-4), Adam Slider picked off at second (4U).
Bottom 6
Pitching: Mark Rubin.
Wilson De La Cruz walks.
Cliff Krimmel singles, Wilson De La Cruz to third.
French Pete reaches first on an error (E4), Cliff Krimmel to third, Wilson De La Cruz scores.
Chris Coleman reaches first on an error (E6), French Pete to second, Cliff Krimmel scores (unearned).
John B. grounds into a fielder's choice, Chris Coleman to second, French Pete out at third (5U).
Rangel Nuñez strikes out.
Thomas Meade grounds into a fielder's choice, Chris Coleman out at third (5U).
Top 7
Pitching: Sergio Herrera.
Jill Marie strikes out.
Alvin Law singles.
Mark Rubin reaches first on an error (E4), Alvin Law to second.
Joe Materrorist walks, Mark Rubin to second, Alvin Law to third.
Mike Fusilli grounds out (5-3), Joe Materrorist to second, Mark Rubin out at third (5U).
Bottom 7
Pitching: Mark Rubin.
Sergio Herrera singles.
Corey grounds into a fielder's choice, Sergio Herrera out at second (1-6).
Wilson De La Cruz pops out (P-6).
Cliff Krimmel walks, Corey to second.
French Pete singles, Cliff Krimmel to third, Corey scores.
Chris Coleman flies out (F-7).
Top 8
Pitching: Wilson De La Cruz relieves Sergio Herrera.
HJ Kwon grounds out (9-3).
Adam Slider singles.
Gabe Edelman grounds into a fielder's choice, Adam Slider out at second (6-4).
Andrew Mac grounds into a fielder's choice, Gabe Edelman out at second (4U).
Bottom 8
Pitching: Mark Rubin.
Rangel Nuñez strikes out.
Thomas Meade strikes out.
Sergio Herrera reaches first on an error (E6).
Corey singles, Sergio Herrera to third.
Wilson De La Cruz grounds out (1-3).
Top 9
Pitching: Wilson De La Cruz.
Jill Marie walks.
Alvin Law walks, Jill Marie to second.
Mark Rubin strikes out.
Joe Materrorist grounds into a fielder's choice, Alvin Law to second, Jill Marie out at third (5U).
Mike Fusilli flies out (F-8).
