Things to note while playing baseball on the day US Armed Forces killed Osama bin Laden:
-For the first time in the 11 year history of this league, we played baseball on a goddamn Sunday, the Lord's day.
-On the same day, Pres. Obama announced that bin Laden had been killed by US Navy SEALs in Pakistan. Coincidence? DOUBT IT.
-Actually...do you want to know to know the terrifying truth behind the bin Laden hit? Or do you want to read about who socked some dingers?
-"Dingers! Dingers!"
-For the first time in...two years? two years...over-the-fence homeruns were hit! Cruzer, Sergio, Paul, Justin and Markall homered for their respective teams as everyone stood in awe of their majestic power and sexual prowess.
-FYI: These homeruns were NOT hit at Cunningham Park. Due to seemingly every field in existence being occupied by kids, punks, punk-ass kids, kid-ass punks and skip-skip-scallywags, we had to play on the small field at PECK PARK.
-It was immediately assumed that, because of Peck Park's dimensions (205 ft all the way around), we would be playing in a high scoring game with everyone hitting at least 4 home runs.
-The result was the lowest scoring game of the year.
-Sergio "Generalissimo El Gato the Terrible" Herrera once again triumphed as captain, securing his third consecutive victory.
-His teams' margins of victory have precipitously declined from 23 (!...ugh) runs in Game 2, to 6 runs in Game 3 and to 1 run in this game.
-Jay Cruzer returned to his 2010 Pedro Award-winning form as he pitched seven innings and striking out almost 2 batters per inning.
-"I won't ever pitch again!" -Past Brian "...until this week!" -Present Brian
-Of the 24 hits in this game, 18 were singles and five were homers. The remaining XBH was a double by Kevin in the 7th.
-Los Gigantes had an opportunity to tie/win the game in the bottom of the 9th, but David Simon (CREATOR OF THE GREATEST TV SHOW EVER--THE WIRE)* struck out w/ the bases loaded to end it.
-*When I asked him, he didn't deny that he was the David Simon (C.O.T.G.T.S.E.T.W), so there.**
-**I didn't ask him.
-To lead off the bottom of the 9th, Kevin hit a hard grounder to Jon at third base. Having to rush the throw to get the speedy Kevin, Jon fired a throw to first base only to short-hop Alvin. Armed with only his glove and the blindest luck you'll ever see (his eyes were closed and his head turned away from the play), Alvin scooped the throw and Kevin was out.
-For lunch, Mark ordered an MF Doom Special: 1-for-5 with a homer and 3 k's.
-With two outs and two Gatos on base in the 8th inning, the Los Gigantes brain trust held a conference at the mound and decided to intentionally walk Cruzer (who had homered the previous inning) to face Mike (who had struck out the previous inning). The unconventional move worked as Brian struck out Mike to end the inning.
-Los Gigantes Brain Trust: awesome band name.
-Mike was so infuriated and consumed by the strikeout that he almost got us killed on three (3!) separate occasions on the ride to Arby's (Arby's = death) and on the way back to the Bronx.
-Also, we almost ended up in New Jersey.
-In lieu of Wendy's ("por que?!?!"), we went to Arby's after the game. What can be said about their food that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan: it looks (and tastes!) bombed out and depleted.
-Sergiously, their food sucks and no one should ever eat there.
-Alvin led off the game with a single (Mr. May!). He was immediately picked off (more like Mr. Dis-May, amirite?!).
-At one point, Brian hit a long fly ball to deep left that the catcher (fine, me) and the umpire (Brian's teammate, Mark) asserted was foul. Brian rounded the bases, did that thing he does with his head when he's in disbelief about something and argued that it was fair despite it being ruled foul by members of both teams. The call stood and the at-bat would continue.
-He would strike out. Later, Brian was asked, "Hey, remember when I said that the ball you hit was foul?" He replied, "It was."
-Who did the scorecard for Los Gigantes? I admire your penmanship. Brava.
-Jon was accused of being a Cyborg early in the game after unleashing a throw from third. Per the custom in human-cyborg relations, he was inserted to pitch an inning of relief (the 8th).
-Alejandro, the famed Baseball Terrorist, flaked for the 49th time in league history. One more and he gets a free shitty fucking sandwich at Arby's!