Things to Ponder as Wilson Saves Baseball From Extinction
-This was the first game played since June 19, 2010. As Wilson was not able to play during this period due to bar prep and that one week that we all liked soccer, everyone else lost the will to play and, in some cases, live.
Things That Have Happened Since Our Last Baseball Game:
-After attaining the big pimp status of being the worst oil spill in history, the BP oil leak was plugged.
-A bunch of us saw Inception. Remember that part when ***SPOILER ALERT*** Batman saved Leo DiCaprio from the falling buildings near the end? That shit was right on.
-The spinning top was totally wobbling and going to fall. ***END SPOILER***
-A fuckton of US-Afghanistan War military info was leaked by a soldier with the screen-name, "BRADASS87" and was published by WikiLeaks. Really.
-A bunch of Russians were caught, detained and deported for pretending that the Cold War was still going on. Little did they know that Rocky ended that shit in 1982?
-Prop 8 was deemed unconstitutional by the US District Court for the Northern District of California in San Francisco. Half of our league immediately looked at San Francisco apartment listings.
-Pres. Obama fired Gen. McChrystal for talking about him behind his back like some punk bitch. Said Obama, "Who's the bitch now, punk?"
-LeBron James decided to take his talents to South Beach and sign with the Miami Heat. The phrase has come to have many meanings, including urinating, defecating, masturbating, ejaculating or a combination of those things.
--Spain won the FIFA World Cup for the 1st time, giving the Dutch a 1-0 Oven. After Iniesta's goal, Pepe took his talents to South Beach in his pants.
-The Vatican decreed that the sacrilege of women becoming priests is equivalent to sexual abuse of children. As in they're perfectly fine with it and won't do anything about it for 40-50 years.
-Hiroshima marked the anniversary of the US dropping an atomic bomb on it by saying "kutabacchimae, USA" for the 65th consecutive year.
-Fellow Stuy alum Olga Posmyk got engaged. Congrats, Olga!
-A bunch of people had birthdays/weddings/celebrations/funerals/vacations/sex/fun-shit-to-do.
-Wilson took the bar exam and subsequently saved baseball for us all. Cheers to that guy! He must be so awesome in countless ways!
More Shit That Is Actually Relevant To Our Baseball Game
-This game popped the captaincy cherries of Justin and John B. Justin joins Cruzer and Pepe as reigning captains. May their reigns be long and throbbing!
-In addition to this game marking the return of, well, everyone, Tom! "Dreamboat" Huie came out of a 3 year-long retirement.
-We recorded some footage for later use in upcoming ESC promos. Tom, of his own accord, decided to star in the short film, "The Misadventures of Tom." It was filmed in the third inning and is obviously a documentary.
-Justin's Ringers 1-4 hitters combined to go 10-21 with 10 runs, 2 triples, a homer and 6 rbi.
-Everyone on Justin's Ringers recorded at least 2 hits except Jose and Justin. Everyone but Justin and Brian scored at least one run.
-Everyone on both sides reached base at least once.
-Mike F. took home the golden sombrero (4 k's), despite homering and walking once. Jose C. also took home a golden sombrero with 4 k's of his own. Not to be outdone, Justin took home the platinum sombrero (5 k's). That said, Justin was the winning captain so he's like, "fuck it man, I'm cool."
-Mike Dugandzic joined the brief list of players who have been brought into the league under false pretenses, i.e., without sharing that they're really good at pitching and/or hitting. He joins Tim McCarthy and Tim's friend Greg that one time. Mike also joins the longer list of people named Mike and the shorter list of people named Mike D.
-Contrary to how it felt at times, the game was very close until J's Ringers scored 4 in the bottom of the 8th.
-The game featured 3 triples, 3 homeruns, 2 runners thrown out at home plate and a partridge in a cak tree.
-Jason "Insert Nickname Here" B. made a nice diving catch to rob Wilson "The Savior" of a base hit. Whether it was necessary or not, only Jim Edmonds can know.
-Alejandro reached base in the 4th on a solid line drive fist-y bloop that soared into the area behind first base. Has it landed yet? We'll never know.
-"Fao Lao" apparently means foul line in Alejandrese. I would chip in for that Rosetta Stone.
-We still don't have a date for the ESC...but we have narrowed it down. Announcements forthcoming.
-The notes for Game 9 (6/19/10) have not been done but, it DID take place. How do we know? Wilson played and baseball only happens when Wilson plays. Tautological? Yes. True? Fuck and Yes.
-Hooray Baseball!
